If you've found your way over here, then hello and welcome!

Sadly, the first thing I'll have to tell you is that I've relocated my bloggish activities to my InsaneJournal account. On this LJ, there will be monthly fic round-ups, and individual links to my Supernatural and RPS stories


My fic can be found here:

Blue Memories, my website, which features all fic that I deem readable; and

my fic community at InsaneJournal, which features all my fic - including the most horrible stuff from years back.


That said, I do participate in LJ-only things and keep up with LJ-only friends via this journal. You're welcome to friend me here if you so desire, but if you want to know what I'm up to, you should check my IJ from time to time :)

It sounds so... self-important to say this, but hey, whatever *g* I did a flist-trimming because I've hardly been able to keep up with it. It's mostly been inactive journals, but I'm pretty sure I might have cut the one or other person by mistake. (I shall blame it on being sick.) Do tell me if that's the case!

And now I need to take a nap before I fall off this chair. Sigh. Being sick is exhausting!

(Is it just me, or do I sound like I want cuddles and "Awww"s? Hm. Whatever does that say about me?)

So apparently my mother's side of the family - the only family I've been in contact with these past two years - is falling apart as we speak. I don't mind so much because of Things I will summarise behind the cut, but my mother minds very much, which is why I'm very very angry about this.

( tl;dr about Jules' family which you might or might not want to know - touches some sensitive stuff )

I'm thinking it's getting clear why I'm not so hot on the family stuff.

Now this feels a bit better. A tiny, tiny bit.

Title: Marooned
Author: Envinyatar
Pairing: Arthur/Merlin (primary), Lancelot/Merlin
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 4,837
Summary: Modern AU. Written for kinkme_merlin round 6, prompt: Arthur/Merlin, Lancelot/Merlin. Merlin is tired of his friends (Arthur, Gwen and Morgana) ditching him and doing stuff without including him all the time. He cuts himself off from them. Arthur comes around a couple of months later after realizing they haven't seen Merlin in a while and is shocked to find he's got a boyfriend named Lance ... something or other. Arthur is incredibly jealous and begins working on how to break them up and have Merlin all to himself again.

Notes: My first attempt at Arthur/Merlin fic, which makes me nervous as all hell! Six nights ago they seized me and would not let go until I had a rough draft of this completed. This is unmitigated fluff which, admittedly, only bears a fleeting resemblance to the prompt. Also, pratty is totally a word, right? As I've learned in my linguistics class the other day: language is creative; with a finite number of rules and words we can create an infinite number of new words. Or some such :P
My eternal thanks goes to rebecca_keys_16 for a beta job up and beyond the call of duty. Seriously, all the awesomeness in this should be attributed to her while everything awkward goes back to me. Thank you so much for your hard work! <3

( Marooned )

After months and months of not touching the keyboard, thanks to mini_nanowrimo, I'm back to writing daily. Each day in November (so far), I've managed to write at least 100 words. Go me!

But that's not the object of this post.

I've been thinking about what to do when Mini Nano is over. How to kick my butt and stay with the writing daily? And I've come up with an idea:

Is there anyone who'd like to open up a writer's group, so to speak (via email or whatever), where we can report our word counts, keep each other on track, and squee about our writing? I was thinking maybe we could give out prompts if someone fails their target or some such. What do you think, anybody for it? *puppy eyes*

LONDON IN EARLY JANUARY, YAY! HAVE FLIGHTS AND PEOPLE TO MEET. SO ECSTATIC! *dances*

Okay, on a slightly saner note: apparently you can forget how to write porn. It's painful to admit, but it is so - I've become rusty with the writing. On that note I ask that you rec me your favourite quick-and-dirty PWPs (HP, SPN, CW RPS, Merlin)! Please? *puppy-eyes*

Also, I can haz more triumph today: for my BA I have to attend this stupid course Pronunciation and Intonation - British English. Now the first time I was there the prof asked me whether I'd spent a year in England, which in itself is very much "!!". She was quite surprised when I told her I've spent four weeks in London, yo. Then she told me I might get an exemption from the course, I'd just have to send in a few mp3-files and then she'd judge. I got my course mark today: 1.7, which is an A-, which is pretty fucking fantastic - I don't have to attend the course any longer. HAH, take that! :P

Title: Inside to the Rain
Author: Envinyatar (aka envinyatar15)
Pairing: Dean/Sam
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,403
Summary: Set between 4.10 Heaven and Hell and 4.11 Family Remains. Dean with a headache? Is a bitchy asshole. Dean with the flu? Is silent as a grave because he can't bear to be incapacitated and have Sam take care of him. (or: Dean is sick. Sam takes care of him.)

Notes: For mad_server, who asked for sick!Dean for my 2008 Dezemberträume project. December is looong gone (whoops, how did that happen?), but here it is anyway - this has been sitting on my harddrive for a looong time :) Title from Aimee Mann's "Little Tornado". Many thanks to taintedlove for the beta! (Also, on a sidenote, it's been ten months to the day since I last posted fic. Ohmigod, I am at a loss.)

For 10_prompts: #08 tender.


Inside to the Rain

I'm coming out of my uni-induced fandom slumber to tell you this:

Because I need a bit of consistency and want writing to be in my life, I'm offering prompt ficlets for you guys again! Dezemberträume '09 - to make your December a bit brighter by giving you something you want to see done. Or something. :)

Fandoms: Harry Potter (please no TNG characters), Supernatural, CW RPS. (possibly: Merlin (very possible), Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, The Vampire Diaries. Not promising these - please also give me something from the other fandoms to work with, 'k?)

Bring it on!

I'm in London!

I have been pretty much non-existent for fandom purposes these past two months due to RL problems (anxiety blah blah), so I've missed a lot and, sadly, let down quite a lot of people. I'm slowly getting back on my feet, but it's a slow process.

Anyway, having that out of the way, who wants me to badger them any day/night from April 22 till 25, or alternately May 1/2? melusinahp, annephoenix, lazy_daze, fleshflutter - or anyone else? I promise I'm nice and don't bite! *puppy eyes* If you can't/don't want to, that is, of course, okay too. I'm awesomely understanding like that :)

I'm going to be in London two times this year: for one in late April for a few days around my stay in Kent for the deathday_party, and for the other in early July for the PendraCon (merlinmeet). Just putting it out there so that you can prepare to be badgered by me :D

My fic put-out was less than spectacular this month. Here's to doubling that in February!

RPS

Until Late
Jared/Jensen, R, ~3,400 words, non-AU.
The problem with moving back to L.A. is this: not having Jared around 24/7 is like missing a limb. Jensen feels unbalanced, like he needs to relearn everything he knows to accommodate his loss. But there's a phantom ache that no prosthesis can chase away, acute and unforgettable, and Jensen can't just move on as if everything is going to be all right.

Harry Potter

The Dream In Me
Hermione/Lucius, NC-17, ~4,700 words, AU.
Even in the most persistent immovability, nothing is fully motionless.

Title: Until Late
Author: Envinyatar (aka envinyatar15)
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: R
Highlight for Warnings: *fleeting Jared/OFC and Danneel/Jensen*
Word Count: 3,429
Summary: Non-AU. The problem with moving back to L.A. is this: not having Jared around 24/7 is like missing a limb. Jensen feels unbalanced, like he needs to relearn everything he knows to accommodate his loss. But there's a phantom ache that no prosthesis can chase away, acute and unforgettable, and Jensen can't just move on as if everything is going to be all right.

Notes: For lazy_daze, for letting me play in spn_j2_xmas. I had the most amazing time modding this project with her. She prompted me with "non-AU J2, future!fic". Even though it seems very wrong not to offer you something more porny, I hope this pleases! ♥ Title from Placebo's "Protect Me From What I Want". Many thanks to smidirini for going over this. :)


Until Late

Hello lovelies! I can't believe it's almost my three-year blogging anniversary - and even though I've mostly moved off LJ land, at least when it comes to posting, I'm still around, immersing myself in fandom. I've found something that has become a very important part of my life, and I'm immensely grateful for that.

With these words - HAPPY 2009! May it be a better year than the last. ♥

( November/December: 2 Supernatural, 2 Harry Potter )

Title: Interlude: Bonelessly
Author: Envinyatar (aka envinyatar15)
Pairing: Dean/Sam
Rating: NC-17
Highlight for Warnings: *incest, underage sex (Sam is 16)*
Setting: pre-Stanford
Word Count: 3,204
Summary: Maybe, Sam thinks as Dean waits him out, uncharacteristically patient, he's been going about this all wrong. Maybe Dean isn't any clearer on what's happening than Sam is. (aka: There is teasing and there is confusion and, in the end, there is sex.)

Notes: #2 in the Wordless 'verse. Many thanks to mad_server for the beta and encouragement and patience. All remaining mistakes are my own and the result of tinkering with this after I got it back. Inspired by Revis's "Living Rooms".

previous part (header)


Interlude: Bonelessly

Title: Wordlessly (coming down to land tonight)
Author: Envinyatar (aka envinyatar15)
Pairing: Dean/Sam (with graphic Dean/OFC and ungraphic Dean/OMC happening on the way)
Rating: hard R
Highlight for Warnings: *incest, voyeurism, oral sex, underage sex and drinking (Dean is 17)*
Setting: pre-Stanford
Word Count: 9,197
Summary: His brother, that's just the thing. Sam's his brother. But it's difficult to take this as an argument when they've always been a little too close.

Notes: #1 in the Wordless 'verse. I've been working on this fic for half a year; I didn't want to set it loose in the scary cold wide world. But it's time now, before I carry it off into the new year. These 9-odd-k deserve to live, at long last :) Inspired by Dido's "Closer". This story would not have seen the light of the day without the incomparable mad_server, who has gone up and beyond the call of duty while she helped me out with this fic. Sweets, I owe you my first-born for all your encouragement, hand-holding, patience, and ultimately your amazing beta skills. This story sucks so much less for all the time you invested into it. ♥ ♥ ♥
(Let's also not forget that to date and ignoring all the innocent fic sitting unfinished on my harddrive, this is the longest fic I've posted, ever.)


Wordlessly (coming down to land tonight)

As these fandom things go, somehow I've ended up getting involved in organising the only holiday exchange for the Supernatural and its related RPS fandom in 2008.

Interested? Come on over to spn_j2_xmas! Sign-ups are open until Monday, November 17!

This is your last chance to prompt me for fic! :) Use OpenID or comment here or email me, it's all good!


It's the first in my timezone, so have my fic links - sadly, thanks to Pfeiffer's disease, this month's (posted) efforts are rather... small. Though I've been moaning about how my muse suddenly porned on and on and on after I'd mostly recovered (well, my brain; my liver still doesn't quite agree, nor my lymph nodes), which resulted in one rather long fic - a.k.a. the Porn That Wouldn't Stop Porning. Wait and see, wait and see... ;)

Harry Potter

Planets Shift (and the moon's erased)
Bill/Charlie (Bill/Fleur). NC-17. ~4,600 words. *warnings*
Charlie is like a drug, and Bill is in way over his head. It's too late for him to go cold turkey now.

Jaded
Draco/Fenrir. NC-17. ~1,800 words. *warnings*
"Ah," Fenrir whispers, his voice rasping consummate darkness as he takes another step forward, "you know this is your punishment, don't you? Failed the Dark Lord - couldn't kill Dumbledore - no way out of here. No one to save you."


What will seriously happen this month is that the first and second part of my damn Sam/Dean 'verse are going to go up. It's been postponed because of my illness, but both parts are in the very last stages of beta'ing and editing. FINALLY. Also, my livelongnmarry fic - I was prompted to write Snupin - is making good progress. Aside from that, I'm going to mainly be working on all kinds of those prompt fics. And my Kinky Kristmas fic for daily_deviant. All those are going to go up in December. We'll see if I'm going to squeeze in anything else for this month, but yeah, the plan's to post three fics in November.

Also doing mini_nanowrimo this month again. I could already be writing for it, but I've been doing so much editing tonight - yesterday? - that I don't want to stare at another word I've written for now.

First off, I'm still offering to write you something. You can comment on IJ using OpenID or just do so here, I don't mind :)

Secondly, what the heck, I can force fic links on you. Lalala.


Supernatural and RPS

Lying Stars
Jensen/Sam. R. ~1,900 words.
Sam lays eyes on Dean after too long. Or at least he thinks that's what he's doing.

Five Minutes (the clock ticks life away)
Sam, Dean. PG. ~2,050 words.
At five minutes to midnight, Dean gestures in triumph, laughing at the demons kept back from attacking them by the sprinklers Bobby so ingeniously hallowed. An AU of 3.16 No Rest for the Wicked.


Harry Potter

Fic

fly up high and burn the sky
Bellatrix. PG-13. ~1,150 words. *warnings*
The fires of Hell, they burn in her.

Gradually
Bellatrix/Severus. NC-17. ~1,450 words.
He doesn't talk to her in the daylight, looks the other way when she passes him by. But at night all cats are black, and the day's hostility fades into the darkness.

Follow Me Down
Lucius/Regulus. NC-17. ~2,800 words. *warnings*
He lays fingers on the well-known shape of a Muggle photograph, marked by the creases of time, and the moment he closes his fingers around the familiar form the imminent danger of panic recedes. In its wake is left a too-clear vision of reality, caught and copied onto paper, staring back at him.

go ahead, be gone with it
Kingsley/Remus. NC-17. ~1,100 words.
Kingsley's appeal is difficult to resist.

One of Us
Fenrir/Remus. NC-17. ~1,550 words. *warnings*
Fenrir pays a visit to one of his long-lost children.
My first daily_deviant piece! Whee!

Brightest Flames
Remus/Severus. R. ~2,750 words. *warnings*
Years after the war Severus is found wandering the woods, his mental faculties shaken. Remus takes him in.

Going Forward (Moving Backwards)
Bellatrix/Narcissa. NC-17. ~2,000 words. *warnings*
Sex in the Black family isn't about love. Sex is about power. It's as simple as that.

( aaaand a few ficlets )

Up for this month: October daily_deviant, the first part of the epic Sam/Dean that's eating my brain, working on my hp_darkfest fic and possibly also on my erotic_elves submission. Oh yeah, and the J2 that wouldn't die. Aaand livelongnmarry. asdfghj I'm afraid of my own to-do-list.

Does anyone care for my monthly fic round-up posts? If so, please to be shouting out :)

Also, I've opened the "sign-up" post for the 2008 Dezemberträume here, if you want to make me your bitch. I'll write Harry Potter, Supernatural and CW RPS, 1,000-2,000 words, to be posted in December. Hit me with your wish!

Also, SPN 4.03 tonight! Eeeeeh!

ETA: If you don't have an IJ account you can use OpenID over there, or alternately, if you really really don't want to do that, you may comment here, though I'll admit I'd rather all comments be in one place.

God, I sound so bitchy today. It might be the fucking tonsillitis.

Title: Five Minutes (the clock ticks life away)
Author: Envinyatar (aka envinyatar15)
Characters: Dean, Sam
Rating: PG
Highlight for Warnings: **
Spoilers: direct quotes from 3.16 No Rest for the Wicked, but goes AU during the episode
Word Count: 2,062
Summary: At five minutes to midnight, Dean gestures in triumph, laughing at the demons kept back from attacking them by the sprinklers Bobby so ingeniously hallowed. An alternate look at the final moments of season 3.

Notes: Beta'd by the lovely gestaltrose. Lyrics are from Linkin Park's "In the End", because I couldn't resist. Kind of a late episode reaction; the beginning of this was written immediately post-No Rest for the Wicked, but it took me a long time to polish and post.


Five Minutes (the clock ticks life away)