If you've found your way over here, then hello and welcome!

Sadly, the first thing I'll have to tell you is that I've relocated my bloggish activities to my InsaneJournal account. On this LJ, there will be monthly fic round-ups, and individual links to my Supernatural and RPS stories


My fic can be found here:

Blue Memories, my website, which features all fic that I deem readable; and

my fic community at InsaneJournal, which features all my fic - including the most horrible stuff from years back.


That said, I do participate in LJ-only things and keep up with LJ-only friends via this journal. You're welcome to friend me here if you so desire, but if you want to know what I'm up to, you should check my IJ from time to time :)

I'm in London!

I have been pretty much non-existent for fandom purposes these past two months due to RL problems (anxiety blah blah), so I've missed a lot and, sadly, let down quite a lot of people. I'm slowly getting back on my feet, but it's a slow process.

Anyway, having that out of the way, who wants me to badger them any day/night from April 22 till 25, or alternately May 1/2? melusinahp, annephoenix, lazy_daze, fleshflutter - or anyone else? I promise I'm nice and don't bite! *puppy eyes* If you can't/don't want to, that is, of course, okay too. I'm awesomely understanding like that :)

I'm going to be in London two times this year: for one in late April for a few days around my stay in Kent for the deathday_party, and for the other in early July for the PendraCon (merlinmeet). Just putting it out there so that you can prepare to be badgered by me :D

My fic put-out was less than spectacular this month. Here's to doubling that in February!

RPS

Until Late
Jared/Jensen, R, ~3,400 words, non-AU.
The problem with moving back to L.A. is this: not having Jared around 24/7 is like missing a limb. Jensen feels unbalanced, like he needs to relearn everything he knows to accommodate his loss. But there's a phantom ache that no prosthesis can chase away, acute and unforgettable, and Jensen can't just move on as if everything is going to be all right.

Harry Potter

The Dream In Me
Hermione/Lucius, NC-17, ~4,700 words, AU.
Even in the most persistent immovability, nothing is fully motionless.

Title: Until Late
Author: Envinyatar (aka envinyatar15)
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: R
Highlight for Warnings: *fleeting Jared/OFC and Danneel/Jensen*
Word Count: 3,429
Summary: Non-AU. The problem with moving back to L.A. is this: not having Jared around 24/7 is like missing a limb. Jensen feels unbalanced, like he needs to relearn everything he knows to accommodate his loss. But there's a phantom ache that no prosthesis can chase away, acute and unforgettable, and Jensen can't just move on as if everything is going to be all right.

Notes: For lazy_daze, for letting me play in spn_j2_xmas. I had the most amazing time modding this project with her. She prompted me with "non-AU J2, future!fic". Even though it seems very wrong not to offer you something more porny, I hope this pleases! ♥ Title from Placebo's "Protect Me From What I Want". Many thanks to smidirini for going over this. :)


Until Late

Hello lovelies! I can't believe it's almost my three-year blogging anniversary - and even though I've mostly moved off LJ land, at least when it comes to posting, I'm still around, immersing myself in fandom. I've found something that has become a very important part of my life, and I'm immensely grateful for that.

With these words - HAPPY 2009! May it be a better year than the last. ♥

( November/December: 2 Supernatural, 2 Harry Potter )

Title: Interlude: Bonelessly
Author: Envinyatar (aka envinyatar15)
Pairing: Dean/Sam
Rating: NC-17
Highlight for Warnings: *incest, underage sex (Sam is 16)*
Setting: pre-Stanford
Word Count: 3,204
Summary: Maybe, Sam thinks as Dean waits him out, uncharacteristically patient, he's been going about this all wrong. Maybe Dean isn't any clearer on what's happening than Sam is. (aka: There is teasing and there is confusion and, in the end, there is sex.)

Notes: #2 in the Wordless 'verse. Many thanks to mad_server for the beta and encouragement and patience. All remaining mistakes are my own and the result of tinkering with this after I got it back. Inspired by Revis's "Living Rooms".

previous part (header)


Interlude: Bonelessly

Title: Wordlessly (coming down to land tonight)
Author: Envinyatar (aka envinyatar15)
Pairing: Dean/Sam (with graphic Dean/OFC and ungraphic Dean/OMC happening on the way)
Rating: hard R
Highlight for Warnings: *incest, voyeurism, oral sex, underage sex and drinking (Dean is 17)*
Setting: pre-Stanford
Word Count: 9,197
Summary: His brother, that's just the thing. Sam's his brother. But it's difficult to take this as an argument when they've always been a little too close.

Notes: #1 in the Wordless 'verse. I've been working on this fic for half a year; I didn't want to set it loose in the scary cold wide world. But it's time now, before I carry it off into the new year. These 9-odd-k deserve to live, at long last :) Inspired by Dido's "Closer". This story would not have seen the light of the day without the incomparable mad_server, who has gone up and beyond the call of duty while she helped me out with this fic. Sweets, I owe you my first-born for all your encouragement, hand-holding, patience, and ultimately your amazing beta skills. This story sucks so much less for all the time you invested into it. ♥ ♥ ♥
(Let's also not forget that to date and ignoring all the innocent fic sitting unfinished on my harddrive, this is the longest fic I've posted, ever.)


Wordlessly (coming down to land tonight)

As these fandom things go, somehow I've ended up getting involved in organising the only holiday exchange for the Supernatural and its related RPS fandom in 2008.

Interested? Come on over to spn_j2_xmas! Sign-ups are open until Monday, November 17!

This is your last chance to prompt me for fic! :) Use OpenID or comment here or email me, it's all good!


It's the first in my timezone, so have my fic links - sadly, thanks to Pfeiffer's disease, this month's (posted) efforts are rather... small. Though I've been moaning about how my muse suddenly porned on and on and on after I'd mostly recovered (well, my brain; my liver still doesn't quite agree, nor my lymph nodes), which resulted in one rather long fic - a.k.a. the Porn That Wouldn't Stop Porning. Wait and see, wait and see... ;)

Harry Potter

Planets Shift (and the moon's erased)
Bill/Charlie (Bill/Fleur). NC-17. ~4,600 words. *warnings*
Charlie is like a drug, and Bill is in way over his head. It's too late for him to go cold turkey now.

Jaded
Draco/Fenrir. NC-17. ~1,800 words. *warnings*
"Ah," Fenrir whispers, his voice rasping consummate darkness as he takes another step forward, "you know this is your punishment, don't you? Failed the Dark Lord - couldn't kill Dumbledore - no way out of here. No one to save you."


What will seriously happen this month is that the first and second part of my damn Sam/Dean 'verse are going to go up. It's been postponed because of my illness, but both parts are in the very last stages of beta'ing and editing. FINALLY. Also, my livelongnmarry fic - I was prompted to write Snupin - is making good progress. Aside from that, I'm going to mainly be working on all kinds of those prompt fics. And my Kinky Kristmas fic for daily_deviant. All those are going to go up in December. We'll see if I'm going to squeeze in anything else for this month, but yeah, the plan's to post three fics in November.

Also doing mini_nanowrimo this month again. I could already be writing for it, but I've been doing so much editing tonight - yesterday? - that I don't want to stare at another word I've written for now.

First off, I'm still offering to write you something. You can comment on IJ using OpenID or just do so here, I don't mind :)

Secondly, what the heck, I can force fic links on you. Lalala.


Supernatural and RPS

Lying Stars
Jensen/Sam. R. ~1,900 words.
Sam lays eyes on Dean after too long. Or at least he thinks that's what he's doing.

Five Minutes (the clock ticks life away)
Sam, Dean. PG. ~2,050 words.
At five minutes to midnight, Dean gestures in triumph, laughing at the demons kept back from attacking them by the sprinklers Bobby so ingeniously hallowed. An AU of 3.16 No Rest for the Wicked.


Harry Potter

Fic

fly up high and burn the sky
Bellatrix. PG-13. ~1,150 words. *warnings*
The fires of Hell, they burn in her.

Gradually
Bellatrix/Severus. NC-17. ~1,450 words.
He doesn't talk to her in the daylight, looks the other way when she passes him by. But at night all cats are black, and the day's hostility fades into the darkness.

Follow Me Down
Lucius/Regulus. NC-17. ~2,800 words. *warnings*
He lays fingers on the well-known shape of a Muggle photograph, marked by the creases of time, and the moment he closes his fingers around the familiar form the imminent danger of panic recedes. In its wake is left a too-clear vision of reality, caught and copied onto paper, staring back at him.

go ahead, be gone with it
Kingsley/Remus. NC-17. ~1,100 words.
Kingsley's appeal is difficult to resist.

One of Us
Fenrir/Remus. NC-17. ~1,550 words. *warnings*
Fenrir pays a visit to one of his long-lost children.
My first daily_deviant piece! Whee!

Brightest Flames
Remus/Severus. R. ~2,750 words. *warnings*
Years after the war Severus is found wandering the woods, his mental faculties shaken. Remus takes him in.

Going Forward (Moving Backwards)
Bellatrix/Narcissa. NC-17. ~2,000 words. *warnings*
Sex in the Black family isn't about love. Sex is about power. It's as simple as that.

( aaaand a few ficlets )

Up for this month: October daily_deviant, the first part of the epic Sam/Dean that's eating my brain, working on my hp_darkfest fic and possibly also on my erotic_elves submission. Oh yeah, and the J2 that wouldn't die. Aaand livelongnmarry. asdfghj I'm afraid of my own to-do-list.

Does anyone care for my monthly fic round-up posts? If so, please to be shouting out :)

Also, I've opened the "sign-up" post for the 2008 Dezemberträume here, if you want to make me your bitch. I'll write Harry Potter, Supernatural and CW RPS, 1,000-2,000 words, to be posted in December. Hit me with your wish!

Also, SPN 4.03 tonight! Eeeeeh!

ETA: If you don't have an IJ account you can use OpenID over there, or alternately, if you really really don't want to do that, you may comment here, though I'll admit I'd rather all comments be in one place.

God, I sound so bitchy today. It might be the fucking tonsillitis.

Title: Five Minutes (the clock ticks life away)
Author: Envinyatar (aka envinyatar15)
Characters: Dean, Sam
Rating: PG
Highlight for Warnings: **
Spoilers: direct quotes from 3.16 No Rest for the Wicked, but goes AU during the episode
Word Count: 2,062
Summary: At five minutes to midnight, Dean gestures in triumph, laughing at the demons kept back from attacking them by the sprinklers Bobby so ingeniously hallowed. An alternate look at the final moments of season 3.

Notes: Beta'd by the lovely gestaltrose. Lyrics are from Linkin Park's "In the End", because I couldn't resist. Kind of a late episode reaction; the beginning of this was written immediately post-No Rest for the Wicked, but it took me a long time to polish and post.


Five Minutes (the clock ticks life away)

I've put up a request for prompts here for Harry Potter, Supernatural and CW RPS fic, any characters/pairings. It's by no means meant to be IJ-exclusive, and though I don't promise anything (fighting writer's block), if you've wanted to make me write something for you? Now's your chance. Or if, y'know, you just want me to get over myself.

I'm also trying to assemble a few Supernatural fans from Berlin for a meet-up here, though I suspect that's of no interest to anyone on my flist ;)

Title: Lying Stars
Author: Envinyatar (aka envinyatar15)
Pairing: Jensen/Sam (CW RPS/Supernatural crossover)
Rating: hard R
Highlight for Warnings: **
Word Count: 1,874
Summary: Sam lays eyes on Dean after too long. Or at least he thinks that's what he's doing. Stanford era.

Notes: Written for fleshflutter as part of a drabble offer a month ago. This grew out of proportions, and I only now got the chance to get it beta'd - the lovely gestaltrose offered her services. Title is inspired by Stone Sour's "Through Glass".


Lying Stars at my website


The website links back to this post for feedback-y purposes.

I'm bored out of my mind, so have a drabble offer at IJ!

First off! livelongnmarry! My offer is here.

Secondly! Still going to be in London from July 21-28. Wanna meet me? *g*

Thirdly! Fic.

( 1 Supernatural, 4 Harry Potter )

Still working on Supernatural, CW RPS and Harry Potter fic. Don't know what of that will be posted in July... We'll see!

Title: Starlight in the Gloom
Author: Envinyatar (aka envinyatar15)
Pairing: Dean/Sam
Rating: PG
Highlight for Warnings: *canon character death (duh), antichrist!Sam, incest*
Spoilers: 3.16 No Rest for the Wicked
Word Count: 3,464
Summary: Dean never taught Sam how to go on without him.
Notes: I wrote this immediately following the season finale and decided to hold back and post it for j2_spn_100days instead of what I'd been originally working on, because that fic kept growing into a monster. Many thanks go to mad_server for the awesome beta job; I can't thank her enough for what she's done with this fic. Any and all remaining glitches are mine and mine alone. The title is a line from Muse's "Sing for Absolution".


Starlight in the Gloom

Link goes to my website; the site directly links back to an LJ post for feedbacky purposes.

CALL FOR LONDON-BASED PEOPLE! I'm going to be in London from July 21 (Mon) until July 27 (Sun) for the snupin_meeting. I've no idea yet about my schedule except that I won't have time on Tuesday evening, the whole of Wednesday and the whole of Thursday. But if there's anyone who would love to get together on another day even if it's just for lunch or a beer or anything, I'd love to! Harry Potter and Supernatural people alike. I promise I'm fairly easy to talk to, I just have to get over my mental block about talking English *g* If anyone would like to, I don't know, email me about this or anything: envinyatar15@yahoo.de is where you can reach me.


Fic-wise: Well, I still have fics in hp_wankfest, hpdesmutathon, and a pinch-hit in hp_rarities, which all are fests that are still posting. And because I've been working on a lot of fics, but university applications are in the way of actually finishing them, I only have one fic to present to you for my May-ly efforts:


Harry Potter

Enslaved | Remus/Severus | PG-13 | What is dead should stay dead. | Warnings: zombies, canon character deaths | 1,200 words | written for lupin_snape's Dark Side Challenge


And I now have a website! Blue Memories - my efforts since Summer '07 are up there. Because the spnnewsletter doesn't link to IJ, I've chosen to put up my SPN/J2 fic on the website and at my IJ fic comm - that way readers can choose where they want to view it.



For this month, there will be the reposting of the fics submitted to the fests mentioned above, then my j2_spn_100days fic (June 8), and maybe one or two other Supernatural fics, and maybe one or two more Harry Potter fics. Busy month, y/y? Who knows whether I'll actually manage to do all that, though...

I also can't wait for spn_j2_bigbang to start posting. So much delicious fic to get us over hiatus... RAWR!

Aye, this month's outcome is rather meagre:

Worlds on Fire
Harry/Romilda. NC-17. ~ 3,650 words.
Harry's problem isn't that he ended up getting fucked. His problem is that he ended up getting fucked by Romilda Vane. Romilda Vane, who in his sixth year had tried convincing Harry of his love for her by using a love potion hidden in some chocolate.


...And that's it. Though I do have fic in hpdesmutathon and I do have fic in hp_wankfest @ IJ, so it's not like I've been sitting around doing nothing :P

In HP, March was Horror Month, apparently. To balance this, my first CW RPS fic was über-schmoopy.

6 fics, all in all, which isn't so bad a turn-out, even though two of them are exchange fic reposts.

CW RPS

The Sky Beneath the Dawn
Jared/Jensen. NC-17. ~1,500 words.
It's always been like this between them: what they share is all-consuming, the world around them coming to a stop as it narrows down to nothing but them.
Schmoop! No, I didn't know I could write it, heh. LJ-only people can leave feedback here at the padacklesrps comm @ LJ.


Harry Potter

Small Crimes
Bill/Percy, Bill/Charlie. Very light R. ~3,200 words.
This is the story of Percy Ignatius Weasley, the proud and idealistic Head Boy. This is the story of how once upon a time, he wanted to be like his oldest brother Bill.
My first try at writing Percy.

Red Sun Rising
Bellatrix. PG-13 for child abuse/death. ~1,100 words.
The doll was extraordinary. It was soft and squishy and warm, and it reacted to everything Bella did.
Oh god, I don't even. I LOVE BELLA. She's, y'know. FUN. asdfghj. I think I'm going mad. Like her.

At Dawn (The Twilight Prevails)
Hermione/Severus. NC-17. ~7,600 words.
To be quite honest, Severus can't figure Granger out. She's nothing like he remembered; the shrillness of youth gone, with no indication she ever knew him. What's her purpose in being here, he asks himself. What is she after?
Repost of my wizard_love fic, written for odogoddess. It's been what, a year and a half or so since I last wrote this pairing, and coming back to them was at once difficult and felt like a homecoming.

Addicted to Circumstance
Bellatrix/Remus. NC-17. ~3,900 words.
Bella captures the wolf easily enough.
Didn't I say I love Bella? Repost of my remus_reads fic, written for krystal_moon. Much fun was had.

Torn Asunder (here on IJ; here on LJ)
Padma/Voldemort. NC-17. ~2,600 words.
Padma Patil was not only a spy, she was the Dark Lord's whore as well.
For erotic_elves' Spring "Love Is Everywhere" Challenge. DON'T ask about the pairing; my other choices were Lucius/Ginny and Crabbe/Hermione, of which at least the first one would have probably been less squicky. Heh. What'd I say about Horror Month March?